Back in the day when I was single in my 20's, a little wild, bright-eyed and snarky, I found it incredibly easy to date. With two outgoing roommates who had cool jobs, we were always sharing friends, having parties and meeting interesting people. The opportunities for meeting Mr. Right Now were endless.
Dating in our 20's is like buying a pack of gum: it’s easy, quick, cheap and instantly satisfying.
Unfortunately, as we get older, it becomes more like going to the dentist; you do it because you know it's good for you, but you hate every minute of it.
It doesn't have to be that way. First dates can actually be f u n 
(oh yes I did).
While everybody has a story of a date-gone-wrong, part of the problem is expectations. As we get older, the stakes are higher while the dating pool keeps getting lower and murkier. We put so much pressure on ourselves to find a good catch that satisfies our check list that we’ve lost the pleasure of meeting someone new and cultivating a connection.
I get that you're tired; it's so exhausting to "sell yourself", turn on the charm after a long day at work, shower again and shell out more cash when all you want to do is settle in for the night and watch the "Criminal Minds" marathon.
It is disappointing when you make a lot of effort to drive across town to meet “Could-Be-The-One” but instead you’re faced with “Not-A-Chance-in-Hell”.
But…what about if you approach things differently and adjust your expectations?
Here's a “trick” that always works with our clients.
I say the following:
"Pretend that you and I are best friends and I mention that my cute older brother / sister (whom you've never met) is in town for business, knows nobody in LA and has been cooped up in their hotel room for days. Could you please just meet him / her out for one drink?"
Immediately they relax and are open to the situation.
Not only does this new frame-up help them shift their perspective, but they become totally unattached to the outcome. There’s almost a newfound playfulness to them. A casual drink with my best friend's brother/sister? Why not?! Just an hour? Cake walk. I only have to show up, be nice and have a laugh, they muse. And maybe even flirt a little since he's / she’s cute…Bonus!
Suddenly their expectations have been downsized and they decide to just show up and bring their authentic selves because they believe that they have nothing to lose....
Imagine that.
Remember to savor the journey and have more fun along the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cristina and Andrea Morara are dating experts and own Stellar Hitch, a boutique matchmaking company catering to upscale professionals that incorporates dating coaching and image consulting in their matchmaking method. Specializing in bringing out people’s best qualities --on the inside and out—before they introduce them to their match, Stellar Hitch leads with a “dolce vita” approach to dating. They encourage clients to slow down, be present and bring their best and most playful self to the table because “it’s less about what you are doing and more about who you are being”.
The couple is currently working on the book "The Dolce Vita of Dating: How A Vintage Approach To Romance Will Lead You Straight To The Altar."
Contact Cristina at cristina@stellarhitch.com. Visit www.stellarhitch.com for more information. Follow us on www.facebook.com/stellarhitch and www.twitter.com/datingdivadigs